Building Rapport Reference List

 

Tips on moving from “How are you?” to “WHO you are”

·        Find out what people do with their time….find some common ground ·        Look for visual clues in an office to “profile,” (photos, etc.) ·        Ask open-ended question such as “how do you define success?” ·        Look at someone’s Linked In profile before meeting ·        Offer up personal information about yourself ·        Gradually move to personal questions – gauge the client’s comfort level ·        Leverage network to find out about a client’s style to help prepare your approach ·        Take the time to learn what’s important to people (ex: Family, sports, food, vacations) ·        Use judgment around doing research ·        Be sincere, genuine, authentic ·        Make eye contact, bring energy, be positive ·        Be empathetic, demonstrate that you understand the client’s point of view ·        Prepare before the meeting so you can tailor your conversation rather than talking about the weather ·        Concisely and effectively introduce yourself ·        Use verbal and non-verbal behaviors such as: body language, eye contact and speech mirroring to signify openness to making a connection and to put other at ease ·        To start a conversation, find something meaningful that connects you. ·        Use questions that are easy to ask and easy to answer at the beginning ·        Be genuinely interested in the other person

Tips on listening in a way that you client will talk

·        Clients don’t care what you know, until they know that you care ·        Try to hunch what type of style/personality your client has ·        Listen to what the client is saying as opposed to thinking about what you’re going to say next ·        React to what the client has said, before making your own point (this forces you to listen) ·        Follow-up with probing questions ·        Ask powerful questions – but make it specific, not too generic   Pitfalls   ·        Knowing the answer – you may think that you have to answer every question asked and solve every problem. This is not always true. The other person may simply be thinking aloud or just looking for a supportive presence. As you share your advice right away, you may actually be disregarding what the other person is saying. ·        Trying to influence or impress – if you strictly focusing on impressing your client it would be hard for you to pay full attention to what they are saying. ·        Not focusing on the message – people can understand language about 2 or 3 times faster than they can speak. It means that as a listener you have a lot of extra mental capacity for thinking about unrelated things. It is a common mistake to let one’s mind wander and stop listening. ·        Jumping to conclusion – it is easy to mentally fill in the details of what a speaker is saying and then to assume you have understood them. ·        Interrupting – very common and very serious mistake. ·        Listening selectively – people tend to hear what they expect, need or want to hear and block the rest. ·        Let them talk, don’t interrupt. ·        Inquire – ask good questions to show interest and encourage them to tell you more. ·        Summarize – frequently summarize your understanding, show them you’ve been trying to hear them accurately.

 

·        Take time to understand client’s issue before you propose a solution. ·        Encourage them to share even the riskiest ideas with you. Be a ‘safe’ sounding board.

Asking the right questions at the right time

You are already using both Fact Finding and High Impact Questions. When you use these questions in combination you increase your ability to establish rapport and feel in sync with you clients.   Fact Finding Questions   ·        Where did you go to school? ·        Where did you go on vacation? ·        How long have you been in this industry? ·        When did you join this organization? ·        How many offices do you have?   High Impact Questions   ·        What are the biggest challenges your organization / team faces today? ·        What one thing you would do if you know you wouldn’t fail? ·        What motivates you? ·        How would you like the change to occur? ·        What will things look like in a year if everything goes as planned? ·        Why do you want this outcome? ·        Who will benefit from this change? ·        Who will object this change and why? ·        What does your team think of this situation? ·        Why is this situation occurring? ·        How is this similar / different from the way you have approached it before? ·        How can we help you?

Tips on watching for cues and knowing when to transition to the objective of the meeting

·        Be direct – “we have 10 minutes left….” ·        Prepare a line to transition from building rapport to business ·        Use humour to transition ·        Transition to objectives of meeting before the client decides to ·        Suggest planning another meeting (or lunch) to continue personal discussion, and then move on to objectives